Book Review: The Bourne Legacy by Eric Van Lustbader

Ever since I first read them in junior high, I've been a fan of Robert Ludlum's Jason Bourne series of books. They had an interesting premise, compelling characters, exotic locations and violence. They were by no means high literature, but when it comes to a few hours of escapism, you can't get much better. They were, in my opinion, the very best work by a prolific writer who, I'm sure, still had stories to tell at the time of his death in 2001. This love of the previous Bourne books most likely will influence this review, but with good reason. I'll get into that shortly.

The Bourne Legacy by Eric Van Lustbader, the fourth in the series, finds the hero, David Webb, once again trying to live his life quietly away from the dark underworld of his aler ego, Bourne. He's quickly running for his life from an assasin bent on killing not Jason Bourne, international legend, but David Webb, university professor along with a conspiracy to frame him for the deaths of two of his closest friends. He embarks on a journey that takes him from Georgetown University to Paris and Iceland while trying to unravel the mystery. Not a bad premise. Too bad that's going to be about the most positive thing that I have to say.

I grew up reading comic books. Still read some today. Absolutely love following my favorite characters from one adventure to another and finding out how they grow and develop. As I'm a comic book fan, I've grown accustomed to different creative teams working on the same characters. It happens regularly and the characters are often better for it if the new team can bring a fresh and interesting take on the characters and, hopefully, renew some interest in the characters. What I find unforgivable, however, is when a creative team gets the characterizations completely wrong. This was the problem when Eric Larson took on the reigns of Wolverine: he put the character in situations that were really beyond the scope of the character and obviously just a ploy to let him play around with as many characters in the Marvel Universe as he could. He got the characters wrong.

This is the same problem from which Van Lustbader suffers. He completely removes the driving force behind Bourne from the second and third books (Marie and his family) within the first fifty pages. Marie isn't even given the respect of a single line of dialog. She just gets a singular text message. So much for the driving force behind the character. Bourne, as he goes through the different situations, makes mistakes that I wouldn't even make, let alone one of the best operatives that the CIA ever had. One of the other major themes that grew throught the second and third books of the series was the fact that Bourne was getting older and wasn't the physical specimen that he once was, but here we receive no mention at all of Bourne's now-advancing age (he'd be in his 60's at least by this point). While we're talking about Bourne's age, let me point out that the author got his history all wrong as well. We know that we're in a modern context (text messages, cell phones, ect), but I also know that the Vietnam Conflict didn't happen within the last thirty years, which it must have to allow the author's "big surprize" of the first part of the book to hold true. "Big surprize" is in quotes since I figured it out within about fifty pages. One other thing about the characterization: Bourne is known as the Chamelion. He can blend in wherever he is to his surroundings to the point where you could be looking for him and standing right next to him without ever realizing it. This was always, to me, one of the best aspects of the character. However, it is comopletely lost in this book. Bourne is constantly being "made." "Look, there he is!." "We found him!" Where is the Chamelion that I've grown to admire?

Van Lustbader has created a novel that would have an interesting premise and, perhaps, passable as a generic pulp novel. However, since he decided to use the Bourne universe in which to tell his story, he has to be held to a slightly higher standard. He falls well short of that standard.

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Things I Would Like to Do Based on Song Lyrics

Just a short listing of some things I would like to do that are contained in the lyrics of songs:

• I would like to rock the mike like a vandal. I'm not even sure what this means, but it sounds like it could be fun.
• I would like to wear my sunglasses at night. This might be the most achievable item on the list. As of yet, however, I have not worked up the courage, nor the required amount of preppiness, to go through with it.
• I would like to drink from a fountain that is flowing like an avalanche coming down the mountain. Sounds very refreshing.
• I would like to take the last train to Clarkesville. Who knows, I may not get another chance to go, and then I would get to say, "Hey, I was on the last train to Clarkesville."
• I would like to get a machinehead that is better than the rest. I mean, nobody wants an inferior machinehead.
• I would like to destroy my sweater. But I know that as soon as I do, my parents will ask me, "Where's that sweater we got you while we were on vacation in California?"
  
• I would like to live in a yellow submarine. The only thing that is preventing me from doing this is the 1.6 billion dollar security deposit that the government requires.
  
• I would like to play that funky music. After all, I am a white boy...it's time I do what I'm told.
• I would like to get me a Chrysler that seats about 20. I'm sure it gets wonderful gas mileage.
  
• I would like to run through the halls of my high school and scream at the top of my lungs. This would be pretty easy, considering that my high school only had one hallway. I don't think I would expend too much energy doing that.

That pretty much sums it up. Besides, when you work John Mayer into an article, it's time to hang up the keyboard.

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Me and the Club

I learned a valuable lesson the other day. I learned that it is a very bad idea for me to be sent to Sam's Club by myself having forgotten my shopping list at work. We purchased a Sam's Club membership for some of the things that we can get there significantly cheaper than at our local grocer such as milk, yogurt, meat and chocolate syrup. No, really. My kids have a glass of chocolate milk for a snack every night. You should see my son bounce up and down when he finds out it's time for chocolate milk. The highlight of his day. Therefore, we make relatively frequent trips to Sam's Club to refill these supplies. Let me step away for a moment to point out what I view as a large piece of irony: the slogan Sam's uses in all of its advertisements is "We're in business for small business" when they're owned by the same company as Wal-Mart. It was just a thought.

Anyway, the other day, my lovely bride called me at work to inform me that we could use some of the aforementioned items. Being the acknowledged forgetful man that I am, I wrote these items down on a piece of paper and then went back to work. This was mistake number one. It was a mistake because I should have put the piece of paper in my pocket before going back to work. I promptly forgot most of what was on the list because I had it written down, so I could therefore reclaim that memory space for more important things. Like wondering how much wood was used to create the Spruce Goose. Of course, when the work day was finished, I went on my merry way and drove to Sam's. Once I arrived, I realized that I had forgotten the list on my desk at work. There was a moment of utter disgust with my lack of a good memory, and I began to berate myself that I could have been so shortsighted as to have not put the list into my pocket immediately on receipt. I was lower than the lowest scum of the earth. And then I noticed that it was free sample day. If you've never been to Sam's on free sample day, it's an experience that must be on the list of things to do before death. No matter how bad the day has been or how many lists of things to get or do you've left on your desk at work instead of in your pocket, everything melts away with the first semi-frozen éclair , single tortia chip with mango salsa or miniature egg roll that can be found in the frozen food section in boxes of 60. Now on special.

So, now I have the task of trying to remember exactly what it was that we needed.  The way that I do this, normally, is wandering through the eisles until something jogs my memory.  Frozen food.  These things are cold.  I like frozen food.  I like it when we take the chicken from the freezer and put it...oh yeah.  Chicken!  There's one fatal flaw with this idea when I'm in Sam's:  I always see things that I don't need but can't live without.  Now, I know that there was some specific fruit on the list.  Was it grapes or blueber...  You know, I really could use a bag that has the contents for making two gallons worth of peach iced tea.  We wanted some cheesy crackers for the kids.  Where are they again?  Wow.  Two big bags of chips for under five bucks?  I'm so there!  Maybe one of the bags should be Sun Chips since that'll soften the blow a bit.

And so it goes.  I end up spending signifigently more than I expected to, but at least I got everything on the list.  Well, I think I did, at least.  Now, if only this stupid recycled box doesn't collapse on me on my way in the house...

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