NFL Predictions Special - NFC

I am already regretting some of the picks I made during the AFC Predictions Special after taking into consideration some of last week's performances, most notably Carson Palmer's, but I will stand by my picks.

As I gloated before, I managed to pick Pittsburgh correctly to win the Super Bowl last year. Unfortunately, as I recall, my NFC picks were absolutely and ridiculously awful, capped off by picking Seattle to miss the playoffs. Oops.

Let's try again, and remember that the order a team appears within its division is the order that I predict them to finish:

NFC East

New York Giants: In what may be the toughest division in football, the Giants are the most complete team of the four. Eli Manning is an up and coming QB with a great pedigree, Tiki Barber is still a solid RB, and Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey help to spread the offense out. On the defensive side of the ball, this team is just sick. The secondary may be the only question, but may not be an issue considering their D-line won't give the opposing QB time enough to throw a solid pass anyway.

Dallas Cowboys: I possibly would have picked them to finish first if I had written this a couple of weeks ago. They have been getting a lot of buzz in the press during the offseason, and they are an attractive pick to go deep into the playoffs. But as the preseason has progressed, there have been some major flaws exposed. Most notably, Bill Parcells' growing discontent with QB Drew Bledsoe. It's pretty difficult for a team with unrest at the QB position to do anything special. If you couple that with Terrell Owens' mounting injury and personality problems, there's going to be trouble in Big D this year.

Washington Redskins: This team is definitely the X-Factor in the NFC this season. If they pull together like they did last year, and play over their heads or as a cohesive unit, they could steal some games, and ultimately the division. My bet is that they aren't going to put the magic together again this season like they did last year, and will probably let more games slip away than they steal. QB is a question on this team as well, and I'm wondering how long Mark Brunell can keep living on borrowed time in the pocket like he has been. If he goes down, or just plays poorly, the team is left with untested but talented youngster Jason Campbell. The team was so unsettled with Clinton Portis' shoulder injury, that they traded for T.J. Duckett. The receivers are talented, but ultimately unproven aside from Santana Moss. Chris Cooley could end up being the make or break player on this team at TE.

Philadelphia Eagles: With the TO fiasco, and disappointment from last season's performance behind them, the Eagles have a new start. Can Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook stay healthy? Is Donte Stallworth the right cog to fit in their receiver void? What about their offensive line? Just too many questions this season to really make any type of serious push at the playoffs.

NFC North

Detroit Lions: Last year, I infamously picked the Lions to win the division. Well, that didn't work out so great. But I'm going to step up and do it again. Not so much by what they can do, but more so by what the other teams won't be able to do. If they can win 4 or 5 games in the division, and that's a big if, there are 5 other winnable games on their schedule. At that pace, they could potentially be a 10 win team, which will easily be enough to win the NFC North. Bringing Mike Martz in as their OC could push their talented offense over the hump this year, and the Lions will be yet another team from Detroit to surprise this year.

Minnesota Vikings: I wasn't going to put them ahead of the Bears, but I just had to. Not because I like the Vikes really, but because I really don't like the Bears this year. Brad Childress looks to change around a team that has been downright comical for the last few seasons. But there is a lot of unproven talent on this year's team. The defense looks to be solid, led by an outstanding D-Line, what could be a competent linebacking crew, and a good (even if not great) secondary. The offense concerns me. But if it can just be adequate, this team should be over .500.

Chicago Bears: In 2001, Chicago surprised everyone and went 13-3. In 2002, heavily favored Chicago once again surprised everyone and went 4-12. I feel them doing the same thing this season, but maybe to a lesser extent. The mainstream media seems to be looking past their flaws and overlooking the rest of the competition (maybe rightly so) in the division. In fact, to some, they might as well be starting to sell playoff tickets. But this team is dangerously flawed. They are going into the season with their backup QB looking more capable than the starter, and there's a brewing controversy on the horizon (see Cowboys, Dallas). Their talented RB Thomas Jones feels slighted by the organization trying to give his job to the backup Cedric Benson, and both have been nicked up. The receivers are a HUGE question mark. I question the offense's ability to score points. And the defense, while still uber-talented, is getting older and more injury prone. If a couple of players drop on either side of the ball, stick a fork in them.

Green Bay Packers: Here is the NFC's answer to Houston and Oakland in the AFC. These three teams should be vying for futility supremacy. I can't list all of the flaws for this team. I really can't. It would give me too much joy. The main question is if during the middle part of the season we find Brett Favre looking just as terrible as he did last year and during the preseason this year, will new head coach Mike McCarthy have the guts to pull the plug on Favre and give Aaron Rodgers the reins? I say no. And I also say 2-14 might not be out of the realm of possibility. The floor's the limit with these guys.

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: This team will fly under the radar for the early part of the season because of all the attention that Carolina has been given as the crowned favorite to win the NFC. I think the Bucs are more balanced than the Panthers are, though, and that might translate into not letting a couple of winnable games get away from them, and could be the difference between first and second place. Chris Simms might be the only weak point on a good, but not spectacular offense, and the defense is always good. It's teams like this that do great things in the playoffs.

Carolina Panthers: Yes, they are a talented team. Yes, their defense is awesome. But...they always seem to let a few games slip through the cracks. Jake Delhomme keeps getting better, and the receiving corps has improved as well with the addition of Keyshawn Johnson, who should help take some of the pressure off of Steve Smith. But what about their ability to run the ball? DeShaun Foster is talented, but also injury-prone, and while DeAngelo Williams has looked good in preseason, he is a rookie. If Foster goes down again, and Williams falters, they might be looking for someone else to DeRun the DeBall.

Atlanta Falcons: If Michael Vick ever learns how to play the QB position, or if his coaches ever learn how to build an offense around him that plays to his strengths, this team will be dangerous. Until then, the Falcons are an 8-8 team. Plain and simple. Vick will win some games for them, and he'll lose some games for them.

New Orleans Saints: They hit the jackpot when the Texans inexplicably went with Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush. They improved drastically at QB by signing Drew Brees and letting Aaron Brooks go. This preseason, they officially gave up on the Donte Stallworth project, and traded him to the Eagles, effectively handing Devery Henderson the starting receiver spot opposite Joe Horn. The Saints have some talent on both sides of the ball, but still have a ways to go. It's just nice to see them finally heading in the right direction.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks: For the last few years, the loser of the Super Bowl has missed the playoffs altogether the following season. That won't happen to the Seahawks. First of all, they have probably gotten better than last year's team, and only really had one key loss--guard Steve Hutchinson to the Vikings. They added defensive stalwart Julian Peterson to an already talented defensive that is young and fast and has irreplaceable experience from last season's playoff run. The passing game potentially could be more effective, given that they replaced third receiver Joe Jurevicius with Nate Burleson. If that's the case, it will certainly dampen the loss of Hutchinson and open up the running lanes for Shaun Alexander. Secondly, who's going to stop them in the division? Seriously, who?

St. Louis Rams: The Rams could be better just for simplifying Mike Martz's extremely complicated offense. Scott Linehan's more basic, balanced approach means a slightly better season for back Steven Jackson, and less pressure on oft-injured QB Marc Bulger to do it all. The receivers are all back, the line is a little strong, and defense is the big question again. There's a lot of offense to go around in the West, and if the Rams are unable to stop it all, they'll find themselves on the outside looking in come playoff time.

Arizona Cardinals: A questionable offensive line, an unimpressive Edgerrin James, and an unknown defense pushed the Rams ahead of the Cardinals in my rankings. The passing game should still flourish, but maybe the best thing that could happen to this team for the long term is Edge struggling. That should be the final blow and convince them to spend some money on real offensive line talent. The defense is probably one or two players away, especially up front, from being a difference maker, too.

San Francisco 49ers: The offense has at least looked capable of putting up points this year. Alex Smith looks better than his abysmal season last year, they jettisoned malcontent Brandon Lloyd and replaced him with talented Antonio Bryant, and also added very promising rookie TE Vernon Davis. I honestly have no idea what their defense is capable of. No clue whatsoever, but if Mike Nolan can tailor an offense around his assets, the Niners could surprise some people and steal a few games away from unsuspecting teams.

There you have it. Coming up next week, Playoff and post-season awards predictions. Savage away, my friends, savage away.

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The Way God Works--Part 3

Well, gentle reader, here we are again. Finally, the third and final installment in this little series of discussions. I'm sure you've all been anxiously consuming all the squashed bread you've been able to find as you've waited with baited breath for this. Swallow that last bite, then, and rest at ease, for the eagerly anticipated moment has finally arrived. As I said in the previous postings , this little series is in no way an effort to exhaust (or even really scratch the surface of) this vast topic. Nevertheless, I leave you, gentle reader, with these few words on the second of the reasons that God elects to use means in His dealings with people.

In His grace and mercy, God elects to use means in His dealings with people in order that those who are used as means might be blessed. For example, when God provides us with our daily bread, one of the means that He uses in that provision is the work of the farmer. As the farmer acts within his vocation as a farmer, God in turn uses that vocation to bless the farmer. As was said to the Israelites, "[T]he LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands." (Deut. 2:7 [ESV]) And, lest we think that this statement doesn't apply to us today, that we are indeed blessed as we fulfill our vocations is made more clear in such passages as Psalm 128:1-4, in which we read, "Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed and it shall be well with you...Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD." (ESV) As the farmer does the work that helps provide the daily bread for our tables, he is blessed in the very performance of that work.

This is one of the greatest tragedies for those who go through life in unbelief. As I'm sure you know, many of the farmers whose work is used by God to provide the daily bread for our tables are not believers. They may curse God when it rains at an inopportune time or when drought destroys the majority of a year's work. They may be agnostic. They may be atheistic. However, God still makes use of their labors to provide the daily bread that has been promised to us. The tragedy is found in that they miss out on the blessing of being a means of God's provision. Indeed, not only do they miss out on the blessing, but in unbelief they actively reject that blessing. For the unbeliever, the fullness of God's curse upon the ground (Gen. 3:17-19) is experienced; conversely, while the believer must still eat bread by the sweat of his toil, it is done in a very real state of blessing: "Blessed are the people whose God is the LORD!" (Ps. 144:15 [ESV])

Obviously, this holds true for the believer, regardless of the specific vocation to which one is referring. Indeed, each and every person has multiple vocations with which they are engaged at any given moment. The one who has children is called to be a father, and so he is one means through which God chooses to provide and care for the children. That same one is most often also called to be a husband, and so he is one means through which God chooses to bless his wife. That same one is also the child of his parents, and so he is called to be a source of blessing to his parents. Likewise, he is called to fullfil the vocation of his work, whatever that work may be; in this, God uses him as the means to provide for and bless still others. In every one of these callings--these vocations, if you will--God also blesses the one called as that one discharges his vocation...as I'm sure any father could tell you. Ultimately, these blessings come to those who are believers, while those who continue in unbelief miss the full experience of the blessings intended by God. An unbelieving father often receives some blessing from being a father to his children; however, unbelief leads to a rejection of the full extent of that blessing, for only in Christ is the blessing of God fully realized. "Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin." (Rom. 4:7-8 [ESV])

Why does God elect to use means in His dealings with men? While there are many specific reasons, at the heart of the matter is that He does so in grace and mercy for the benefit of those who are so affected. The greatest tragedy of all lies in the fact that so many persist in unbelief and rejection of that grace and mercy, offered ultimately in the death and resurrection of His one and only Son, Jesus Christ.

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Those Things Forgotten

I have a very good long-term memory. I try not to be a very proud man about most things, but that is one area in which I am proud. I can remember my first day of kindergarten. I can remember at least something about every single teacher I had throughout grade, middle, and high school. I remember when they brought my baby brother home from the hospital - when I was two-and-a-half. I remember facts that I will probably never use again in my lifetime except for playing Trivial Pursuit. I freely admit that my short-term memory is horrible, but that is more than made up for by my long-term memory. I'm okay with that. However, I have recently discovered that there is a gaping hole in my long-term memory, and, if nothing else, this article will serve as saving for posterity these things so that I'll never forget them again. Even though I'm fairly sure that I'll never need to use them again.

For those of you who don't know, we've recently added another child to our family. This is child number three for us, so we're quite busy with a four-year-old, a one-and-a-half-year-old, and a two-week-old, as I'm sure you can imagine. It's been hardest on my wife, but for the most part, we're getting settled into being a family of five and a cat. However, there have been a few things that I've discovered that I had forgotten from the first two kids along with a couple of new lessons. I had forgotten:

• How much fun it is to stay at the hospital after the baby's born. I'm only being mildly sarcastic here. On the one hand, you have all of the "expected" factors that come with a new baby. However, there are also the factors of having cable TV (2 hours of "Who's Line Is It Anyway?"), people visiting with bringing gifts, and being in a place where you have someone (i.e. a nurse) who is willing to help you out with most of what you need. I only cleared away one of our meal trays for the three days. Which brings up another point.
• Hospital food is definitely not fine cuisine. Granted, I can't do much complaining when it's included with the room, but there were a few meals where we were settling for what looked "acceptable" as opposed to what looked "good." That's not exactly high praise. The best part of the meals were the fact that I grabbed a couple of chocolate milks with each meal. It was like high school all over again for me. Except for the screaming baby and the wife in a great deal of pain, of course. Other than that, though, just like high school.
• How little newborns are. Now, granted, we had a monster of a newborn (22", 10 pounds 7 ounces, future linebacker), but at the same time, I've been used to dealing with toddlers again. This child is completely tiny compared to them! I'm starting to get back into the groove of automatically making sure that the head is supported, but I admit to being a little bit nervous at first.
• The poop. Oooohhhh, the poop. First of all, the meconium that begins the whole process is horrible. They really should collect the stuff to use as a natural replacement for paving tar. Then comes even more fun. We (and when I say "we," I mean the one of us with functioning mammary glands) have breast-fed all of our children. As such, we get very "seedy" poops (and when I say "we", I mean the one of us that currently can't walk and has a bowel control-control problem. Notice how I had to specify "can't walk"). One of the big problems with these poops is that they're unpredictable. With the 1 1/2 year old, once he's had a poop, you can be fairly certain that another one isn't coming any time soon. With the baby, there's absolutely no predictability. In fact, at times, the change seems to make things come along again quicker. Then, because of the consistency, it's very possible that if you're not careful, the newly-minted poop will roll up the back of said baby making a clothing change necessary (if it wasn't already).

Of course, there are the very positive things about a newborn. The awe of looking at them and realizing that I had some small part in the birth of this little miracle. The site of a sleeping baby in my arms. The little grunts and sighs that are generated by the baby (often in conjunction with the afore-mentioned poops).

All things considered, I'm excited to find out what this new little one is like. That, and I'm excited to catch up on sleep. At least at some point this decade.

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The Way God Works--Part 2

Well, folks, I'm sure you've all been waiting breathlessly for the next installment in our little discussion (you can find the first part here). By "discussion" I mean that I get to talk, and you don't. Hot air is useful at times.

Last time I promised to discuss later two points regarding why it is that God has elected to use means in His dealings with people. Now is later. However, gentle reader, I am only going to touch on one of them today. You will have to wait until next time for the second of the two.

Why, then, does God use means in His dealings with people? First and foremost, it is an act of grace and mercy on the part of God towards us. We, as sinful and lowly human beings, would be consumed were we to stand in the presence of the holy and almighty Creator. Two relatively famous illustrations of this point spring immediately to mind.

The first is that of Moses. When Moses was receiving the tablets of the Law on Mt Sinai, he requested that God would reveal His glory to Moses. God's response to him in Exodus 33 is particularly revealing: "I will make all my goodness pass before you...But...you cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live." (Ex. 33:19-20 [NRSV]) God then told Moses that He would cover him with His hand, removing His hand after He had passed by and allowing Moses to see His back (and expression, of course). His face could not be seen--even by Moses.

Furthermore, after simply speaking with God on Sinai as he received the Law, the glory of God had so encompassed Moses that the people were unable to even be in Moses' uncovered presence. Indeed, Exodus 34 reveals that Moses had to wear a veil over his face following his encounters with God so that the people could be near him. So great is the glory of God.

Isaiah 6 reveals the presents us with the second example. When Isaiah sees the throne room of God, he can do nothing but cry out "Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" (Is. 6:5 [NRSV]) It is only after he has been purified by the fire from the altar that he is able to bear even the sight of the throne .

This chapter in Isaiah is particularly revealing, for the Seraphs that are around the throne of God cry out again and again "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory." (Is. 6:3) In Hebrew, a single repetition of a word (e.g., holy, holy) indicates perfection; that is, a description of something or someone as "holy, holy" indicates that thing or person is perfectly holy. As unfathomably awesome as it is, God is more than perfectly holy. The triplicate makes that abundantly clear. God is, if you will, perfectly perfectly holy.

That is the God who is so gracious as to have sent His own Son to die in our place. That is the God who is so gracious as to have promised to supply for us our daily bread. That is the God who is gracious enough to spare our sinful selves from being consumed by His holiness; for God, in His holiness, cannot tolerate sin in His presence. Indeed, it was for this reason that God sent His Son--so that we believers will "be saved through Him from the wrath of God." (Rom. 5:9 [NRSV]) Therefore, God does not destroy us with His direct presence in the provision of our daily bread. He instead uses means.

Why else would He use means? Again, in His grace and mercy he does. I will touch on that next time.

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NFL Predictions Special - AFC

I realize that this is supposed to be a grab bag/humor type of website, but I know sports, and more specifically football, and I couldn't think of anything funny to say...so deal with it.

Allow me to toot my horn only slightly. In last year's version of my NFL predictions special, I correctly picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to win the Super Bowl...in August. Never mind that the rest of my picks were absolute crap, I picked the winner six months in advance. That qualifies me for some gloating before I make a fool of myself yet again.

Without further adieu, your AFC Prediction Special, with each team in order of finish in their division:

AFC East

Miami Dolphins: This might be my least favorite division to pick, as I like none of the teams. The Dolphins are the safe pick here, and while I don't like Daunte Culpepper leading this team after shredding his knee last season, he is still an upgrade from Gus Frerotte. Ronnie Brown should have a solid sophomore season. My one concern is that this team has been siphoning off defensive players for the last few seasons. They get first place basically because Nick Saban is their head coach.

New England Patriots: If I were a bigger man, I'd pick them to finish 3rd. But I'm a wuss. And who would finish before them? The Jets? The Bills? Not yet. Maybe next year. Look for Corey Dillon to be better than expected, which will be good for Tom Brady, because he has absolutely no one to throw the football to aside from Ben Watson, especially if Deion Branch holds out as promised.

New York Jets: I actually think they will push the Pats for second place, but they're not there yet. Offense is the big concern for the Jets, and although it looks like Chad Pennington might actually be back, running back, wide receiver, and offensive line are still major concerns.

Buffalo Bills: They could be the surprise team in the division this year. J.P. Losman has looked adequate in camp, and if he can put together some sort of semblance of a passing game, that should open it up inside for Willis McGahee to be more effective than last season's disatrous performance. The do need another asset alongside Lee Evans in the passing game, especially after Eric Moulds left for the Texans. They could potentially be an 8 win team, but I think they'll settle right around 5 or 6 wins.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens: I think they have one or two more good years out of their aging defense, but that might be enough time for them to do something special. Steve McNair is a significant upgrade at quarterback, and they signed Mike Anderson to back up Jamal Lewis. The passing game has three viable weapons in Derrick Mason, Todd Heap, and young and upcoming Mark Clayton. If the running game can be effective with the Lewis/Anderson tandem, they should be able to sustain some longer drives, keeping their defense off the field and fresh.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Last years champs bring a little less to the table this year, although not by much. You pretty much know what you're getting on both sides of the field, although I am a little concerned about Willie Parker holding up for a second season. I expect them to be a playoff team, but not to go past round 1 or 2.

Cincinnati Bengals: This team has bad mojo written all over it. They have challenged the Vikings' single season record for most offseason arrests. Their best offensive playmaker is approaching Terrell Owens drama queen status. Their franchise QB has been tentative at best on his surgically repaired knee during the first few weeks of the preseason. They have a storm a-brewin', and could be as much of a disappointment as the Bills could be a surprise. Or they could be as good as last year. I don't think so, though.

Cleveland Browns: I would have ranked the Browns ahead of the Bengals this year, but because I have been patiently waiting for them to call me on the phone to see if I can play center for them, and they haven't yet, I'll leave them in last place. Center has been a serious problem for them this preseason, as they are now playing their 437th different player there so far. It remains to be seen if Charlie Frye can actually lead this team...he had mixed results in his audition late last year. Romeo Crennel does appear to have righted the ship and have them sailing in a positive direction, but he's not quite there yet.

AFC SOUTH

Indianapolis Colts: Like the Ravens, the Colts are running out of time on their window of excellence. Marvin Harrison isn't getting any younger, and he'll have to carry a bigger load this year with the loss of star rusher Edgerrin James. Peyton Manning is as good as ever, and could have another huge season like two years ago. On defense, they have some solid playmakers, but don't really seem to have a cohesive unit quite yet. They did add Adam Vinatieri, who might add enough playoff moxie to push them over the edge this year.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Byron Leftwich may be running out of time as the man behind center in Jaguar-land. Already there are rumblings for backup David Garrard, who is a tad more dynamic of a player, but inexperienced, to have his shot. The team has good young players on both sides of the football, and aren't afraid of the Colts. Aside from that, though, they tend to put up a few too many brain farts in their other games to catch the baby horses. I expect the same this year.

Tennessee Titans: Billy Volek finally gets his chance to shine the way he did while subbing in for all of Steve McNair's injuries. They have added talent to the receiving corps in David Givens. And they added LenDale White to bolster the running game, who promptly spit in the face of his teammates...literally. Their defense is still a little too ambiguous to do anything special, but they will be a tough team to be playing during the last part of the season.

Houston Texans: The bad news: the franchise probably made a huge mistake by not drafting Reggie Bush with the number 1 pick in this years draft. The good news: they'll probably get another shot again in next years draft. For a team that needed to improve significantly to even be competitive, they have come up short. Eric Moulds was added to the fold to help divert attention away from Andre Johnson. Mario Williams certainly improves the defensive line, but will be playing with the weight of the world on his shoulders as the guy picked in front of Reggie Bush. The main concern with the Texans has to be their ability to move the football. Domanick Davis remains a huge question mark, and his two replacements are Wali Lundy and Vernand Morency. That certainly means that David Carr will have to improve his passing game, and I don't really see that happening. Oh well, Adrian Peterson is probably starting to look pretty attractive for the number 1 overall pick next year.

AFC West

San Diego Chargers: This is going to be as surprising of a pick as you're going to get from me in the AFC at least. Phillip Rivers starting in his first year doesn't concern me nearly as much as it probably should, and that's because he's got LaDanian Tomlinson on his team, followed by Antonio Gates, and an ever-improving defense that should take the pressure off the kid by making sure he doesn't have to put so many points on the board each game.

Denver Broncos: The Broncos are as vanilla of a team as you'll come across in the NFL. They run the ball, and they run it well. As long as Jake Plummer doesn't kill them, they should be fine. Well, The Snake is getting worse, not better, and there are already rumors that rookie Jay Cutler will be taking over the team before the end of the season. That just doesn't sound like a playoff team to me. Sorry.

Kansas City Chiefs: I really don't like this team. At all. The offensive line is a mess. Aside from Tony Gonzalez, and maybe Eddie Kennison, an aging Trent Green doesn't have anyone to throw the ball to. The defense stinks. I hate to burst your bubble, but Larry Johnson isn't going to rush for 5,000 yards and score 48 tds this year. He's a superior talent, for sure, but people seem to be missing the fact that he's never carried the load for an entire season, he's o-line is decimated, and as recently as three years ago, his head coach called him a baby. I'm just saying.

Oakland Raiders: Here is the Texans main competition in the AFC for the worst team. Who's going to be QB? Who's going to catch the ball if Randy Moss is either hurt or discontented, and Jerry Porter is pretty much the same thing. How will LaMont Jordan do with teams putting 8 in the box against him? What about their defense? Brady Quinn better start looking for homes in Oakland, because this is where he could possibly end up after the draft next year.

There you have it...we'll cover the NFC next week, and the playoffs the week after. Happy savaging!

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On Disappointment

I try in my life to not get my hopes up. At least, I keep telling myself that I try not to get my hopes up. The reality of the situation is such that I'm constantly getting my hopes up. I can't help it. I'm an optimist by my very nature. I've spent approximately the last decade of my life to find out how I could have developed to be an optimistic cynic. It's a character flaw. I'm working on it. I spent several years getting myself ramped up for the release of the Star Wars prequels. I'm not even going to go into how that one turned out. I got my hopes up about the first car that I purchased on my own (well, with my wife, but without my parents). I ended up with a citrus fruit on four wheels that I'm not even sure is worthy of the title "lemon." Right now I'm leaning towards "grapefruit." I tell myself year after year that the Vikings probably aren't going to do very well, but I get my hopes up (often aided by a 6-0 start) only to have my hopes dashed (sometimes aided by a 3-7 finish). I'm really trying to not get too exited this year, but it's hard with a offensive line that, on paper, looks to be dominating and a defense that has some real talent for once in a decade (or so). Honestly, I'm trying not to.

Currently, I'm trying to save up for a laptop of my very own. That way, instead of running into the basement to do stuff on the computer, I'll sitting on the couch in plain sight and being worlds away because I'm typing to you, my loyal and loving audience. All three of you. I have made the mistake of getting my heart set on one of the new Apple MacBooks even though the native operating system is completely a foreign concept to me; the hardware is probably a bit overpriced for what they give you; there have been numerous complaints about heating issues and discolorations (I mean, who wants a laptop that has spots colored on it that look like it's been smoking or that it has pit stains); and that it'll take me a very long time to save the money for one. I've somehow managed to be really looking forward to getting one so that I can brag to all of my Apple-loving friends that now I have a laptop that's different - just like all of theirs! I know that ultimately, I'll probably be disappointed in it. Something will break, or I won't be able to afford the memory upgrade that will let me run Paralells like I want, or my wife will fall in love with it and start blogging so that I never am able to spend time with the laptop that I saved so hard to be able to purchase and have to stand looking over her shoulder all of the time saying things like, "Honey, I have an article due tomorrow." It's just seemed to be the rule of my life.

Granted, there are some exceptions to this rule. Marriage, for instance has been fantastic. Though, that goes with territory of, as Matt Birk puts it, "out-kicking my coverage." Being a father has also out-stepped any of my expectations. However, I would again point out that these are the exceptions and not the rules.

"So," you might ask if we were having an actual conversation instead of you just being beaten over the head with my ranting, "what, pray tell, is the catalyst for such bemoaning of your history?" Well, tonight it was made apparent to me that I had once again allowed my hopes to be brought so high before they came crashing down with the avalanche of reality. You see, I found out that they had opened the beta of Writely. Writely is an on-line word processor that allows users to collaborate and post to their blogs and, I was hoping, should solve all of the problems and complaints that I have about the editing directly on Blogger. Since both Blogger and Writely are Google products (or, you know, purchases), they should seamlessly work both with each other and hopefully my Google calendar and email. Well, so far, I've been disappointed. When they advertise that they post to a blog, one would think that the posting would include, just perhaps, having the title of the document be the title of the post. Even though I have that box checked in my posting preferences, it didn't seem to work that way. Granted, it's all of one step to go over to Blogger and add a title field to the post, but it's one step that I shouldn't have to do. I'm lazy, but I accept that. It's another character flaw. I have yet to see how the collaboration aspects of the site work, but we'll see, and I'll probably add a comment here about it. Another beef that I have, at least for now, is the fact that the posting options only allows for the user to have one blog available. That's just silly to me since much of the blogging community has multiple sites to which they contribute. Hopefully that's something that will be rectified in the future. For now, I'll just have to continue living my life finding things to nitpick and be disappointed about in things that I've artificially built up in my own mind before doing sufficient research to determine whether I have any foundation in my line of thinking. I think I just insulted myself.

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Where Hollywood Goes Wrong

I will warn you now, gentle reader, that I'm in a bit of a cynical mood at the moment and some of my comments may be colored with that filter.

One of the worst things to ever happen to modern society is Hollywood. Notice that I didn't say movies, I said Hollywood. We've isolated much of the movie-making "talent " (quotation marks intended) into one small area of the country to allow them all to share ideas back and forth to the point where nothing is original any more. Nearly worse than that, however, is the fact that not only is it unoriginal (as Gudy discussed earlier being a problem of society as a whole), it's also largely wrong. It's been going around in my head for a while just how often the movies that come out of Hollywood miss the mark of real life. Part of this was spurred by my wife's comments during some movies that we watch that certain things that happen "aren't very realistic." Usually at that point I mention that it's a movie, but it has still gottem me thinking about how wrong Hollywood is.

Not everyone is an extraordinary person in extraordinary circumstances or even an ordinary person in extraordinary circumstances. Some of us are ordinary people in ordinary circumstances: trying to raise our families the best that we can, going to work to support that family and spending time with friends whenever possibly. Not all of the women we know have impossible figures, perfect hair and perfect tans. Not all relationships start off fast, have one event that causes parties to doubt the relationship, but get back together for a long and passionate kiss towards the end. Sometime relationships don't work. Sometimes, it takes a while for both to come back to the point where they can work out their differences. Sometimes there's not a hero to save the day, harvest the crops in time or score the final points at the last second. Sometimes, the bad guys win. Sometimes the giant monkey gets the girl. Sometimes the T-Rex ignores the little raptors and eats the little pink sausages. You don't really know kung fu. you can't block laser shots with your light sword. There's no sound in space (interestingly, something that Hollywood got both right and wrong). Of course, on the flip side of these, it's rare that a group of fellow prisoners are wanting to get, um, better acquainted with you. One of the things that Hollywood gets the most wrong, in my opinion (and maybe it's just because it's something that I'm going through now) is pregnancy and childbirth. Most of the Hollywood representations of these two events are laughably wrong. Of course, to a certain extent, that's the point. Most of the births in the movies are done for their comedic value. Nine Months and Father of the Bride 2 spring to mind. Not all pregnant women go through the nine months being unbarably hot all of the time and demanding Chinese food and ice cream (though, there are times I wish for the last part). Labor doesn't always hit with a sudden "Ooo!" and a grabbing of the abdominal area. It's also not a series of humerous false alarms. The delivery isn't attended by someone with a Russian accent (Nine Months) or a child prodigy (FotB 2) who seemingly has no other patients in the building. It doesn't always go smoothly. The woman doesn't yell interesting things during a contraction.

In reality, there are times that the labor doesn't go all that smoothly: The baby comes out looking a bit blue, or a bit bruised from the trip, short though it may be. The doctor might have two or three other women in labor at the same time and arrive in your room just in time for the pushing to start. There's also a chance that the doctor delivering your baby will be one that you've never met before. The beginnings of labor might be several days of Braxton-Hicks contractions before things start getting consistent. False alarms are never humorous - they're disappointing when the woman is waiting anxiously for the pregnancy to be over. There are times (three, in our case) where the baby decides to wait a few days past the due date to arrive. That's the boat that we're in now. We're having to wait for the baby to decide it's time for the grand appearance. It's that period of time that's almost interminable, but must be endured. This is the point where I give a huge sigh and you give me a hug.

With all of that said, there are times where the absurd does happen during a delivery because there are times that the doctor delivering your baby might be the mayor of the town that you're living in. Hey, it happens.

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The Way God Works

As this is my first official post on this site, I suppose the polite thing to do would be to give all who care some semblance of an idea regarding just who I am. Well, to those of you who care, tough luck. I'm Frederick III; look it up in The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church, if you are interested.

That aside, an interesting truth has been pressed upon me lately--a truth that has helped me to see the value in both mundane and downright unpleasant circumstances. It also helps to explain why it is that God so rarely elects to work in spectacular miracles (by which I mean, e.g., the feeding of the 5000 or the healing of the blind man) any longer. And, no, it is not because the world is so much more rational or sinful or skeptical or whatever now than it used to be. What is this truth, you ask? It is quite simply that God has chosen to work His will in this world through means; that is, God uses means to accomplish what he would accomplish in this world.

By way of example (just one--I could think of countless), consider one of the petitions we pray in the Lord's Prayer--if you're like me, often without even thinking about what you are saying, much to my (and your?) chagrin. We say (in some manner similar to this, anyway), "Give us this day our daily bread." What do we mean by this? We are asking God to provide what we need to survive on a daily basis. Perhaps even more amazing, God has promised to do just that (see the end of Matt 6, e.g.). How, though, does He do this? By miraculously causing the bread to appear out of thin air on our dinner tables? Generally, no. He does it by means of the farmer who grows the grain, the miller who grinds and prepares it, the baker who bakes it, the trucker who gets it to the store, the grocer who stocks and sells it, the bagger who throws it on the bottom of our bag so that the bread can be all squished when we get home, the employer who has given us the job that provides the wages with which we are able to purchase the bread, etc. I could go on and on and on.

It is vital that we realize that this does not in any way mean that God's provision of our daily bread is any less miraculous than it would be if He caused it to pop out of thin air. (Man, would my kids love that--if they didn't scream in terror, that is. It could go either way.) In our sinfulness, we (or at least I) simply tend to lose sight of the fact that it is a miraculous provision. In our sinfulness, we(I) also tend to see the process (if we ever think about it) as somehow divorced from God; that is, I do the work that earns the wage, I pay the grocer for the bread from my money, so it is up to me (and me alone) to ensure that my family continues to eat. I don't know about you, but I tend to turn the means into the source. Foolish.

Why, though, Mr. Frederick III, does God elect to use means? Wouldn't the spectacular be a lot easier all around (and be more convincing that God is indeed the one behind the process)? Good questions you have asked. While I have neither the intention nor the ability to exhaust this topic, I will briefly touch upon two of them at a later time.

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Random Thoughts, Vol. 1

• Being the father of small children , I can appreciate wanting to make their birthday party a special occasion. I just don't want that specialness flying over my house and exploding.
• Is it a bad sign when your daughter tells you that you have a lot of "fuzzies" in your nose and asks if she can get a tissue to clean them out? And then you have to explain that they're attached.
• I figured out my problem with Pirates of the Caribbean 2: It wasn't nearly as fun as the first one. That pretty much sums up my review. If you want a more in-depth review by a ninja, you can go here.
  
• Life always gets interesting when you are explaining things to the tech support people about which they should be more knowledgeable than you.
• You know, it's hot outside.
• Playing Hearts online is a lot like watching a relationship disintegrate : each party blames one of the other parties while completely refusing to admit any fault and we learn some new uses for swear words.
• Lesson learned from our real estate agent: never tell a pregnant woman that she's getting really big. Okay, I knew that before, but obviously the agent didn't.
• It's never good when you're at work and you get a Prince song stuck in your head.
• And it wasn't even a good Prince song.
• Some day, before my time on this earth is done, I want to be involved in a random musical number.
• Why does pre-season football have to be so laden with mistakes?
• One would think that if your football team is suffering numerous injuries in scrimmages against itself, then perhaps it's time to tone down the practices a bit.
  

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