NFL Predictions Special - AFC

I realize that this is supposed to be a grab bag/humor type of website, but I know sports, and more specifically football, and I couldn't think of anything funny to say...so deal with it.

Allow me to toot my horn only slightly. In last year's version of my NFL predictions special, I correctly picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to win the Super Bowl...in August. Never mind that the rest of my picks were absolute crap, I picked the winner six months in advance. That qualifies me for some gloating before I make a fool of myself yet again.

Without further adieu, your AFC Prediction Special, with each team in order of finish in their division:

AFC East

Miami Dolphins: This might be my least favorite division to pick, as I like none of the teams. The Dolphins are the safe pick here, and while I don't like Daunte Culpepper leading this team after shredding his knee last season, he is still an upgrade from Gus Frerotte. Ronnie Brown should have a solid sophomore season. My one concern is that this team has been siphoning off defensive players for the last few seasons. They get first place basically because Nick Saban is their head coach.

New England Patriots: If I were a bigger man, I'd pick them to finish 3rd. But I'm a wuss. And who would finish before them? The Jets? The Bills? Not yet. Maybe next year. Look for Corey Dillon to be better than expected, which will be good for Tom Brady, because he has absolutely no one to throw the football to aside from Ben Watson, especially if Deion Branch holds out as promised.

New York Jets: I actually think they will push the Pats for second place, but they're not there yet. Offense is the big concern for the Jets, and although it looks like Chad Pennington might actually be back, running back, wide receiver, and offensive line are still major concerns.

Buffalo Bills: They could be the surprise team in the division this year. J.P. Losman has looked adequate in camp, and if he can put together some sort of semblance of a passing game, that should open it up inside for Willis McGahee to be more effective than last season's disatrous performance. The do need another asset alongside Lee Evans in the passing game, especially after Eric Moulds left for the Texans. They could potentially be an 8 win team, but I think they'll settle right around 5 or 6 wins.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens: I think they have one or two more good years out of their aging defense, but that might be enough time for them to do something special. Steve McNair is a significant upgrade at quarterback, and they signed Mike Anderson to back up Jamal Lewis. The passing game has three viable weapons in Derrick Mason, Todd Heap, and young and upcoming Mark Clayton. If the running game can be effective with the Lewis/Anderson tandem, they should be able to sustain some longer drives, keeping their defense off the field and fresh.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Last years champs bring a little less to the table this year, although not by much. You pretty much know what you're getting on both sides of the field, although I am a little concerned about Willie Parker holding up for a second season. I expect them to be a playoff team, but not to go past round 1 or 2.

Cincinnati Bengals: This team has bad mojo written all over it. They have challenged the Vikings' single season record for most offseason arrests. Their best offensive playmaker is approaching Terrell Owens drama queen status. Their franchise QB has been tentative at best on his surgically repaired knee during the first few weeks of the preseason. They have a storm a-brewin', and could be as much of a disappointment as the Bills could be a surprise. Or they could be as good as last year. I don't think so, though.

Cleveland Browns: I would have ranked the Browns ahead of the Bengals this year, but because I have been patiently waiting for them to call me on the phone to see if I can play center for them, and they haven't yet, I'll leave them in last place. Center has been a serious problem for them this preseason, as they are now playing their 437th different player there so far. It remains to be seen if Charlie Frye can actually lead this team...he had mixed results in his audition late last year. Romeo Crennel does appear to have righted the ship and have them sailing in a positive direction, but he's not quite there yet.

AFC SOUTH

Indianapolis Colts: Like the Ravens, the Colts are running out of time on their window of excellence. Marvin Harrison isn't getting any younger, and he'll have to carry a bigger load this year with the loss of star rusher Edgerrin James. Peyton Manning is as good as ever, and could have another huge season like two years ago. On defense, they have some solid playmakers, but don't really seem to have a cohesive unit quite yet. They did add Adam Vinatieri, who might add enough playoff moxie to push them over the edge this year.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Byron Leftwich may be running out of time as the man behind center in Jaguar-land. Already there are rumblings for backup David Garrard, who is a tad more dynamic of a player, but inexperienced, to have his shot. The team has good young players on both sides of the football, and aren't afraid of the Colts. Aside from that, though, they tend to put up a few too many brain farts in their other games to catch the baby horses. I expect the same this year.

Tennessee Titans: Billy Volek finally gets his chance to shine the way he did while subbing in for all of Steve McNair's injuries. They have added talent to the receiving corps in David Givens. And they added LenDale White to bolster the running game, who promptly spit in the face of his teammates...literally. Their defense is still a little too ambiguous to do anything special, but they will be a tough team to be playing during the last part of the season.

Houston Texans: The bad news: the franchise probably made a huge mistake by not drafting Reggie Bush with the number 1 pick in this years draft. The good news: they'll probably get another shot again in next years draft. For a team that needed to improve significantly to even be competitive, they have come up short. Eric Moulds was added to the fold to help divert attention away from Andre Johnson. Mario Williams certainly improves the defensive line, but will be playing with the weight of the world on his shoulders as the guy picked in front of Reggie Bush. The main concern with the Texans has to be their ability to move the football. Domanick Davis remains a huge question mark, and his two replacements are Wali Lundy and Vernand Morency. That certainly means that David Carr will have to improve his passing game, and I don't really see that happening. Oh well, Adrian Peterson is probably starting to look pretty attractive for the number 1 overall pick next year.

AFC West

San Diego Chargers: This is going to be as surprising of a pick as you're going to get from me in the AFC at least. Phillip Rivers starting in his first year doesn't concern me nearly as much as it probably should, and that's because he's got LaDanian Tomlinson on his team, followed by Antonio Gates, and an ever-improving defense that should take the pressure off the kid by making sure he doesn't have to put so many points on the board each game.

Denver Broncos: The Broncos are as vanilla of a team as you'll come across in the NFL. They run the ball, and they run it well. As long as Jake Plummer doesn't kill them, they should be fine. Well, The Snake is getting worse, not better, and there are already rumors that rookie Jay Cutler will be taking over the team before the end of the season. That just doesn't sound like a playoff team to me. Sorry.

Kansas City Chiefs: I really don't like this team. At all. The offensive line is a mess. Aside from Tony Gonzalez, and maybe Eddie Kennison, an aging Trent Green doesn't have anyone to throw the ball to. The defense stinks. I hate to burst your bubble, but Larry Johnson isn't going to rush for 5,000 yards and score 48 tds this year. He's a superior talent, for sure, but people seem to be missing the fact that he's never carried the load for an entire season, he's o-line is decimated, and as recently as three years ago, his head coach called him a baby. I'm just saying.

Oakland Raiders: Here is the Texans main competition in the AFC for the worst team. Who's going to be QB? Who's going to catch the ball if Randy Moss is either hurt or discontented, and Jerry Porter is pretty much the same thing. How will LaMont Jordan do with teams putting 8 in the box against him? What about their defense? Brady Quinn better start looking for homes in Oakland, because this is where he could possibly end up after the draft next year.

There you have it...we'll cover the NFC next week, and the playoffs the week after. Happy savaging!