Me and the Club

I learned a valuable lesson the other day. I learned that it is a very bad idea for me to be sent to Sam's Club by myself having forgotten my shopping list at work. We purchased a Sam's Club membership for some of the things that we can get there significantly cheaper than at our local grocer such as milk, yogurt, meat and chocolate syrup. No, really. My kids have a glass of chocolate milk for a snack every night. You should see my son bounce up and down when he finds out it's time for chocolate milk. The highlight of his day. Therefore, we make relatively frequent trips to Sam's Club to refill these supplies. Let me step away for a moment to point out what I view as a large piece of irony: the slogan Sam's uses in all of its advertisements is "We're in business for small business" when they're owned by the same company as Wal-Mart. It was just a thought.

Anyway, the other day, my lovely bride called me at work to inform me that we could use some of the aforementioned items. Being the acknowledged forgetful man that I am, I wrote these items down on a piece of paper and then went back to work. This was mistake number one. It was a mistake because I should have put the piece of paper in my pocket before going back to work. I promptly forgot most of what was on the list because I had it written down, so I could therefore reclaim that memory space for more important things. Like wondering how much wood was used to create the Spruce Goose. Of course, when the work day was finished, I went on my merry way and drove to Sam's. Once I arrived, I realized that I had forgotten the list on my desk at work. There was a moment of utter disgust with my lack of a good memory, and I began to berate myself that I could have been so shortsighted as to have not put the list into my pocket immediately on receipt. I was lower than the lowest scum of the earth. And then I noticed that it was free sample day. If you've never been to Sam's on free sample day, it's an experience that must be on the list of things to do before death. No matter how bad the day has been or how many lists of things to get or do you've left on your desk at work instead of in your pocket, everything melts away with the first semi-frozen éclair , single tortia chip with mango salsa or miniature egg roll that can be found in the frozen food section in boxes of 60. Now on special.

So, now I have the task of trying to remember exactly what it was that we needed.  The way that I do this, normally, is wandering through the eisles until something jogs my memory.  Frozen food.  These things are cold.  I like frozen food.  I like it when we take the chicken from the freezer and put it...oh yeah.  Chicken!  There's one fatal flaw with this idea when I'm in Sam's:  I always see things that I don't need but can't live without.  Now, I know that there was some specific fruit on the list.  Was it grapes or blueber...  You know, I really could use a bag that has the contents for making two gallons worth of peach iced tea.  We wanted some cheesy crackers for the kids.  Where are they again?  Wow.  Two big bags of chips for under five bucks?  I'm so there!  Maybe one of the bags should be Sun Chips since that'll soften the blow a bit.

And so it goes.  I end up spending signifigently more than I expected to, but at least I got everything on the list.  Well, I think I did, at least.  Now, if only this stupid recycled box doesn't collapse on me on my way in the house...