Thanksgiving, Surgery, and Carthage

Well, gentle reader, here I am again. Somewhat ironically, I missed being able to post an article on my own topic last week. Chronic laziness is indeed a joyous affliction. Even better is when chronic laziness is accompanied by raging apathy. That way it doesn't bother me in the least when my chronic laziness asserts itself. Sadly, this dear friend is nowhere to be found this week, so on to the matter at hand. Carthago delenda est!

With Thanksgiving rapidly approaching, most of us are thinking not so much about being thankful (Gratitude? What's that?) as about the turkey with which we are going to stuff our faces, the afternoon football tradition, and generally the semi-drugged stupor into which we will fall (following our consumption of the soporific turkey, of course). Why do the holidays always have to be about you? They should be about me. To that end, I am going to enthrall you with a marvelous tale...a tale of a fateful trip...that started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship. Well, in all honesty, my tale has nothing to do with a trip...or a tiny ship. Rather, it has to do with one relatively recent occurrence in my family's life for which I have been exceedingly grateful, albeit inconsistently so. Last January, I was personally thankful that my infant son needed massive cranial remodeling surgery. Carthago delenda est!

Perhaps I should explain this statement, especially when one considers that cranial remodeling surgery basically consists of removing the skull of the patient (usually an infant or very young child), cutting it apart to allow its reshaping, and putting the newly remodeled cranial structure back into place, allowing it to once again do what it is skulls are supposed to do. Perhaps not. Perhaps this will be more effective if I simply leave it at that. I guess this is not an option. The voices are telling me that I need to explain. The voices cannot be denied. The voices are my close companions. The voices have spoken. That is all. Carthago delenda est!

When my son was born, following the current customary practice of modern medicine, he was given a complete physical. The results of that physical were less than perfect...at least from my frail perspective as an insignificant human. We learned that my son had three "soft" signs of chromosomal abnormality. Now, with only one of these signs, there was roughly a ten or fifteen percent chance that he did not have any such chromosomal issue. However, there were three. Our doctor informed us that tests were being run which would determine whether or not such abnormality was present. Thankfully (by which I mean, of course, "I've never been so frustrated and angry in my entire life"), we would only have to wait six to eight weeks for the results. No big deal, right? Of course not! Especially when our son later that day decided he would fail his hearing test as well. Oh, yeah. And then there was the teeny tiny little issue that decided to reveal itself a few days later--he had no "soft spot" on the top of his head and would likely need major cranial remodeling surgery. Carthago delenda est!

Needless to say, I'm sure, my wife and I were a little stressed out during this time. Now, don't get me wrong--I loved my son more than words can say...absolutely regardless of the results of the test. I'm not convinced I could have borne him having a chromosomal abnormality, however. I'm not that strong. Not even close. I have a very dear friend who has someone close to him/her with such a difficulty. I'm not certain whether or not I've every told him/her this, but I admire more than I can express both he/she and his/her family as they are confronted with the unique challenges this situation affords them. Even more, I am grateful for the lesson they have taught me personally--it's not an "affliction" or an "abnormality" in any sense that implies lesser status or value or worth or even ability to enjoy life. In my own experiences with the someone, I have equally been struck by that someone's pure joy in the simplest things of life and the child-like faith that has been evident to me on many an occasion. Does this mean there are no challenges? Of course not. But this does not mean that the quality of life or value of the individual is somehow lessened. If anything, I find that I am constantly taught things in a profound way by the someone, things that I may have never learned were it not for the unique circumstances of this situation. Now back to my point. It is incredibly easy for me to say this when it is not my family that is directly affected. It is a completely different matter for me when there is the possibility that my little son may be the one with a chromosomal abnormality. The waiting period revealed to me one thing above all else: I am weak. Far weaker than I would have thought. Again, does this mean that my love was somehow lessened by this? Absolutely not. Does it mean that I finally began to see new depths to my own depravity? You bet. Carthago delenda est!

As I'm sure you've gathered by now--at least the two of you that are still reading this--the test results came back completely normal. On top of that, my son passed his second hearing test (about four weeks after the first) with flying colors. The only thing remaining was the closed soft spot. As a matter of fact, this structural issue is what actually was causing the "soft" signs mentioned above. Rather than all three of the major issues with which we had initially been confronted, we were now faced with only one...and that one was eminently fixable. So, I was thankful...no, I am thankful that my infant son needed major cranial remodeling surgery. It was the only issue with which we were contending, and it was a "fixable" issue at that. This has to be one of the strangest things for which I am thankful. Carthago delenda est!