Animosity TV

I've become fairly convinced over the last few years that my television hates me. I haven't figured out how it came to this point or, for that matter, why, but I'm pretty sure that it does. Now, I realize that you would say that it's an inanimate object and supposedly incapable of love, hate or many of the more complex feelings (like a football fan's feelings for an inconsistent quarterback), but people said the same thing about the Cylons and look at where things are for the humans now.

I often have good intentions of getting to bed at a decent hour. Honestly, I do. Whenever I mention my intention of getting to bed early, Anne usually laughs at me. Our history says that when one of us states that we're going to go to bed early, we usually end up getting to bed substantially later than normal. My biggest problem is when Anne goes to bed before I do. It's not that I'm a completely irresponsible person, but I have trouble at times hitting the power button on the television and just going to bed. Normally, one would say that the tendency is not the fault of the appliance, but rather the fault of the person in control of the appliance. However, this gets to the crux of my issue. I would have a much easier time shutting off the television if the TV wouldn't be displaying such excellent programming at insane hours of the night. I could be tired from a long week at work and be watching bit of TV before heading to bed, but right as I'm just about ready to turn off the TV, an add will come up and say "Coming up next: Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer in Seinfeld." Well, I have to stay up for that, don't I?

Of course, while watching Seinfeld, they show what's going to be on after this half-hour. Wouldn't you know that Scrubs is going to be on. I really enjoy Scrubs. I love the pacing of the episodes where it's one beat right after another. They don't wait for the crowd to laugh or to revel in how clever they are that they figured how to make fun of a person's name by making it in to something dirty. They just keep on moving and wanting to get the next joke. I appreciate a show that doesn't hold anything back but keeps entertaining their viewers. Another good example of this is...well, there really isn't another good example of this that comes to mind. Maybe that's why I appreciate Scrubs so much.

After Scrubs is over, I make the mistake of doing a quick tour around the dial. Keep in mind that we don't have cable television. After I graduated from college, in order to save money Anne gave me the choice of getting cable television or high-speed internet. It wasn't even a hesitation. I have DSL and I have a fat pipe. I'm fairly certain that wasn't intended to be a penis reference. During my final perusal of the different channels' offerings, I cross several infomercials (current favorite: "Poop your way to better health."), and then I happen on an episode of Star Trek. It was the original series of Star Trek, which is my second favorite after The Next Generation. However, I've seen most of the episodes and the majority of those multiple times. I can turn off an episode of Star Trek whenever I want. Hey, wait. They're talking about a derelict space craft. (It couldn't be, could it?) It's one from the 1990's. (No. Well, maybe.) "Spock, Bones, and you, the late 20th century historian that no one's ever heard of but is mildly attractive, come with me. We're going to beam over." (I think it might be.) Hey, look, there's a very young Ricardo Montalban. (It is!) That's right, it's the Kahn episode. I hadn't seen this episode in forever and it's the precursor to possibly my favorite Trek movie in Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn. Let me just say, for the record, that in the '60's, Ricardo was stacked. Seriously, dude was huge in this episode. I had to watch.

So, that's how I found myself finally turning off the television in the wee hours and dragging my sorry tuchus up to bed. I knew that I'd be paying for it in the morning and that I'd have to explain to Anne why I was so tired. It's just easier to say that the TV hates me than I'm unable to shut off the TV when I need to.