I've Been Here Before

I'm fairly involved in fantasy sports. I don't mean that I'm one of those people who purchases all of the magazines every fall and researches every move to death before the draft. I mean that I participate. Maybe that's a better way to put it: I'm fairly participated in fantasy sports. (Me fail English? That unpossible!) For all of the time that I put in to fantasy sports, I blame Gudy. It really is all his fault. My wife will be yelling at him soon. He's the one that first invited me in to a league. I don't even remember what sport it was, but I do know that it was the start of something soul-sucking. Especially since he invites me in to all of the different leagues. We have a hockey league, for Heaven's sake (I took 4th). Basketball has been especially frustrating for me. It's mainly because of Kermit.

Don't get me wrong; Kermit is a great guy. What little I've talked to him, he's nice with a great sense of humor and he probably really enjoys long walks on the beach. He also has participated in all of the different leagues. The difference between him and me, however, is that he wins and I lose. More specifically, I lose to him. I lost to him in fantasy hockey and in fantasy basketball. In basketball I had lead him all week long. Then I lost Gilbert Arenas to a knee injury and LaMarcus Aldridge to something called Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. I needed to win four out of six categories to win the week and advance to the championship game. We tied 3-3 and he won the week because he had scored more points than I had. What does Arenas do better than 95% of the NBA? Score. I firmly believe that I would have won if Arenas would have been in there. The same sort of thing happened to me a couple of years ago. In fact, it was exactly the same thing. It just wasn't to Kermit that time.

In hockey we had a strange situation: Every team made the playoffs. Therefore, since I have a lot of other demands on my time, I completely didn't pay attention to my team until the playoffs came around. I was doing pretty well, too, until I ran in to Kermit. He completely decimated my team. Some of my players are still looking for their testosterone two weeks after we lost. Oh well. We'll get him next time.

I would start to consider Kermit to be my arch-nemesis when it comes to fantasy sports if it wasn't for the fact that in our recent baseball draft (a three-hour marathon of picks for which Anne will be sending Gudy a "No Thank You" note), Gudy's dad kept selecting exactly the player that I was going to take immediately after him. It was getting me quite upset. If he wasn't such a nice guy, I think I might have been mad at him. Anyway, I ended up drafting a pretty good team. I went 7-4-1 last week against Gudy's dad and hopefully, that's a sign of things to come, but only time will tell.

And I just realized something: You probably don't care about any of this. I'm done.