Fantasy Hockey Preview

The sports junkie has returned from his one week hiatus.

I am here to impart on you my unequaled fantasy hockey genius.

The following paragraph contains everything that I know about fantasy hockey:







There you have it. I know absolutely nothing about hockey. If I could name ten players, I would surprise myself. I think I can get close to naming all the teams, but I wouldn't know, because I don't know how many teams there are in the NHL. I think it's somewhere around eleventy-seven. In contrast, I can probably tell you the starting lineup for every Major League baseball team, and the depth chart at the skill positions for every team in the NFL.

But hockey eludes me. Always has, always will. I grew up in a hockey town (Grand Forks, ND. Greatest Canadian hockey players on the planet. If you don't get the joke, then never mind). I live in a hockey state (Minnesota, where for awhile the college team could beat the pro team). I never played hockey, though. I can barely skate (just forward...no stopping or reverse for me, thank you).

So why do I play fantasy hockey you ask (what? you don't ask? well, pardon me)? Two reasons...One, it's a sport. Two, it involves controllable, manipulatable statistics.

I enjoy all things sports. The competition and statistics just fascinate me. I love underdog stories. I love to hate big market clubs that ruin the sport. I have opinions on everything. Fantasy sports make it even more interesting to me. Now I can manipulate the statistics! I am in control. When the Twins lose, I can second guess Ron Gardenhire or Terry Ryan's decision making. But when I lose in a fantasy league, it's my fault. Especially since I'm the commissioner in most leagues, so I could probably rig it so that I win.

I play fantasy baseball (two different leagues), fantasy football (four player leagues and two pick'em leagues), fantasy hockey (two leagues), fantasy basketball (two leagues), fantasy golf, and fantasy English Premier soccer. I will probably add to that next year. Only one of the aforementioned leagues involves money. The rest are just for fun. And perhaps the satisfaction that if I succeed, I may have a claim to knowing more about a particular sport than someone else who may or may not get paid to do basically the same thing, on a much more difficult and complex scale.

So basically what I'm saying is I'm a freak. Wow...that sure took a long time to say all of that.