500 v 0.2

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The man seemed to ponder these words for a moment.

"Yes, I would say it's 'double crap,'" he said with some form of East-coast accent that would distinguish him significantly in this town of mostly second- and third-generation Scandinavian immigrants.

Frank sighed heavily.

"Look, I'm sorry about the rock. I didn't mean for it to happen, honest. I'll pay for any repairs."

"Do you expect me to believe that this was all an accident, Frank?" the man replied.

"How do you know my name?"

"You haven't answered my question." This was obviously a man who was used to having people jump when he said "frog."

"Well, I do expect you to believe that it was an accident because that's exactly what it was. Now, how do..."

The other man cut him off.

"I think that we should ask the cop over there." He raised his voice to a shout. "Hey! Officer! Yeah, you. Come over here."

This, thought Frank, could be really, really embarrassing.

The officer made his way over.

"How can I help you fine gentlemen today?" he asked cheerfully.

The car owner, whom Frank had started to refer to as "jerk," didn't even let Frank start to open his mouth. "This guy just committed an act of vandalism, and I demand that he be arrested and charged accordingly."

The officer's eyebrows rose a bit. He then turned to Frank, "Hey, Frank."

"Hey, Chuck."

"What happened?"

"I kicked a rock. It bounced up and hit the tail light."

"Did you apologize?"

"Of course."

"Offer to fix it?"

"You need to ask?"

The man was staring at them incredulously. "You know what this is?" he finally said in a huff. "This is police corruption. I have a meeting with the mayor later, and I'll be sure to mention this to him officer..." (he looked at the name tag) "...Richards."

Chuck was starting to get a bit annoyed with Jerk himself. "It's your civil right to do so, sir. When you're there, would you mind asking the mayor if he could give me a ring after he sets up our tee time tonight? Save me the trouble."

Jerk's face turned a new shade of red. He stepped up nose-to-nose with Frank as he said, "I will break you." Then he turned to get in his car.

"I'm still willing to pay for the taillight," said Frank.

"Don't bother! It's a rental!" Jerk growled. He slammed his door and drove off.

Frank turned to Chuck. "I didn't know that you golfed with the mayor."

"Neither does the mayor. I just figured it would be the quickest way to remind the guy that he's not in New York or wherever he's from."

Somewhere around the fourth circle of Hell if you ask me, thought Frank.

"I see your inner-monologue is broken again."

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